she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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