Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
