You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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