So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
