They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
