dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
