He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
