awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
