I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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