I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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