Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
