Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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