i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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