you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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