so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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