Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
