all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
