dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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