Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
