I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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