what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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