Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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