You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
