I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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