Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
