someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
