Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
