Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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