those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
