I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
