woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
