First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
