My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
