I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
