currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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