Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
