$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
