I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
