he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm really busy with my period
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