This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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