So drunk its hurt
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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