Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
