every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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