I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
