new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
