im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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