Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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