She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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