I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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