she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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